i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
