all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
