Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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