Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
