My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
