So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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