In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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