Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
