dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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