guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
