No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
