I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
