2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
