The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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