i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
