Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
