we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
