Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
