I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
