idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Bring me that man meat
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
