worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
