is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize