I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
