Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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