this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
