you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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