theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it glows. i had to have it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
