It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
