All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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