thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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