Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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