JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this just has baby written all over it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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