No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
