just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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