I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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