i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize