he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
