I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He kissed a someone with a penis
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
