I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
