Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
