I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
