we have officially lost it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
