i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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