I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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