What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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