Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
