I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
