no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
