She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You dont lie about slip and slides
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
