Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize