like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
