Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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