Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
