like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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