took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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