Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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