no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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