where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize