her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
