so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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