Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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